valentine's day is approaching.... not so excited.  travis will undoubtedly let me down again and this one will be just like all the others... me and ben and jerry enjoying the evening together, possibly with some sappy movies and tears involved.

getting over the flu.  that's always a good time.  but since my boys won the superbowl my mom and ralph are taking me to Pitt for a couple days over my mid-term break for my birthday!  yay for that.  then off to ithaca with my ladies.  it'll be a fun week.  but then travis leaves on a cruise before i get back, so i won't see him for at least two weeks in a row.  that might cause some serious disruptions in our little atmosphere.  the air is already pretty damn thin, we'll have to wait and see how it turns out.  no use worrying, right.

first, thanks for all the supportive comments.  you are all fabulous, and i thank you.  they really helped.

second, i know that i usually only use this thing when i'm exceptionally down or pissed off, but i've started to realize that i really take everything too seriously.  while everybody probably already knows that about me, i didn't know it.  is it too late to learn how to just relax and have fun and enjoy shit?  i hope not.

third, i'm a major bitch and i apologize to anyone i've ever offended.

fourth, i'm not a princess, so i'll work on getting over that, too.

2005 was a shitty year.  2006 must be better.  it has no choice.  it hasn't started out so hot, but there's a lot of things worth getting excited about, so i'm going to stay optimistic for the time being.

the rough spots so far:  an impending divorce in the family . a death of a close family friend and the direct effect it will have on one very dependent individual . still haven't found a new job . the re-emergence of personal demons that have really taken their toll .

the bright spots so far:  working towards my educational goals . not turning towards alcohol like i usually do to handle life . nothing holding me down . having friends who offer their unconditional love continuously . the most supportive family ever .

i've got a lot of growing to do.... i've got to pull myself out of this rut and move on and just focus on all the life i have ahead of me, all the possibilities out there, this current attitude will get me nowhere, i've got to squash it.

lately i've been feeling like the sperm from which i was conceived should have been swallowed.  or at least caught in a tissue.